It all started with my hands.... About a year ago I thought I was done with postpartum depression. I had started to connect with others and found purpose and started to feel like a normal person again. What I didn’t realize was that my ppd had morphed into something different. My thoughts turned from suicide (thank goodness!) to “why am I so ugly?”, “you’re such a pig for eating that”, “you are SO fat!”, “why can’t you control your eating”, “my gut is so huge”, “all my clothes look so ugly on me”.
It was around Mother’s Day when I started to see some body empowerment posts on Instagram. Moms proudly showing off their c-section scars, stretch marks, saggy skin and saying they loved themselves for what their body could do. I just didn’t get it. I hated my body. I knew i had just had a baby but I still felt like I should look different by then, or at least be on a better path to look different and I couldn’t stop beating myself up about it. I even was saying positive affirmations to myself but I didn’t believe any of it.
One day, I was doing some mundane task, I can’t really remember, maybe it was making a bottle or changing a diaper and I had an epiphany, I loved my hands.
They aren’t perfect hands for modeling or anything but I loved them for what they did. They took care of my children, kept them safe and brought me joy! So I started there. I slowly started to realize how amazing I was starting with my hands.
I hope as you watch this short film you can think about all the good your hands do during your day and realize how amazing and beautiful you truly are.
Videographer: Angelica Parker
Music Written and Performed by: Wendy Santiano
A HUGE thank you to my incredibly talented sister for putting this together and to Wendy and her beautiful voice for lending her talents.
Please share if you resonate with this or feel another mom should see it!
Happy Mother’s Day to all you incredible beautiful moms out there (SPOILER: that’s all of you! 💖)
Hands from Angelica Parker on Vimeo.
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